Bent Words

Bent Words

November 17, 2010

Stupid body.

Tried (successfully) to wake me up at 5:30am yesterday morning with thoughts of what I forgot to buy while at the store, things I should have done at work last week but didn't and whether or not I'm going to purchase Christmas cards this year.

All things which I normally consider irrelevant during the day, much less three a half hours prior to daylight.

So, whatever. I got over it. It's just one day, right? I'll catch up tonight, I said to myself, and that was the end of it.


That was merely a taste -- a small bite -- of the week old grocery store sammich.

Today I feel like I ate the whole damned thing.

It was 4:30am by the time I finally rolled over to check my alarm clock. I was just hoping it said something like 6:30am. THAT I could handle. That's feasible.

But, no. It said 4:30am. And that, my friends, is unacceptable.

I have a cough due to cold thing going on so I suppose it has something to do with that. But it didn't start out as a cough THREE WEEKS AGO. No, it began as a plain old body ache thing and then stopped. Then it came back as a congested head type of thing. And that stopped. That's about when Round 3 began the whole coughing thing started.

That's F'ed up, right? I mean, don't normal people get all of it at once? Don't you usually have all these symptoms simultaneously -- the "seriously guys, stop looking at me, I quit smoking" coughing, the "oh my GOD my teeth hurt, why am I still alive?" aching, the "how did I just fill two garbage bags full of snot rags" sneezing -- and doesn't it usually last about a week (unless you're a grade school teacher)? It's not normally supposed to be sequential thing, right?

Well that's what The Boy said on Saturday when he FINALLY stopped in to pay me the money he owes me.

"Dude. What's wrong with you? You're still sick?"

Here I am on the verge of tears because I haven't seen him in three months, we've just ended our "casual but necessary" relationship because he's actually found another female to put up with him and he's got negative nothing nice to say.

Yeah, pretty sure I won't miss that.

Litter someone else's life with your opinions, buddy. I just want my $150.

Buh bye.

Of course I was still straight up sad (that whole "girl" thing tends to work against me during these moments) so, despite my nearly better judgment, I decided to kick it with a buddy at the bar after work. At about 3pm. Without having a bite to eat since the morning.

Totally couldn't handle the birthday shots (it wasn't even my birthday so I have no idea how that all started). About 8pm I decide it's best that I make an exit. Naturally, just as I'm about to leave, The Boy's brother, whom I have not seen since my birthday, mysteriously appears two seats down from my own.

Oh, if only you could hear the whole world as it sighed with me...

Sickly + Alcohol (not previously touched for over a week) + Recent Potential Last Meeting with The Boy + The Boy's Brother (i.e. one of the many in-laws I almost had) = Deluge.

I was a soggy mess of tears and "he's not worth its" and "he was the best boy I've ever knowns" and "ohmygod I'm so sorrys." And it went on until midnight or sometime there after. Luckily The Boy's brother is totally down (yo) and just took it all in stride. We ended the night on happier notes relating to gun ranges and roller skates...

So I got a lot out of my system. Not entirely proportional to the amount I put into my system that night but, still, I got to cry. In front of dozens of the other people. At a bar. On a Saturday night.

Now, since I have no idea where I was going with all of this and managed to ridicule myself with a modicum of success, I think I shall retire.

And I plan to sleep "until the sun shines on my bazaza."

Stupid bazaza...

Written at 8:49 p.m.