Bent Words

Bent Words

May 03, 2015

So. There's this guy. A big, nervous, twitchy, stuttery sort of fella with a wife and a motorcycle.

Met them back in the day. Way back in the day. When I worked at the shop.

They used to drop in after hours, mostly. When we were closed but still livin' it up with a few beers, some music and lots of stories. I'm thinking now that the beer dulled my apathy toward them because we somehow managed to put up with them despite their full flavor of crazy.

He had a VTX which he has owned for more than a decade and she rode on the back.

She tried to ride once. I think it was a bike I sold her. I think it was a Ducati Monster. New. She put less then 200 miles on it before completely giving up; complaining about everything under the sun (the stress, the pain, the weakness she exhibited, etc.).

I met up with them a few years ago at a bar she used to work at. She told me that she had an affair with one of my exes. While he and I were still together. Lovely. Part of me still doesn't believe it just because of how utterly nasty she is but another part of me isn't sure. Either way, it's in the past so it doesn't affect me -- it only propels her deeper into my complete disdain.

Anyhow, two Fridays ago, the dude texts me looking for answers as to why the motorcycle shop which I don't work for anymore "ruined his bike" by putting sticky weights on the rim of one of his tires.

"I've NEVER had wheel weights on my bike in fourteen years!" he exclaimed.

"Uhhhh," I looked at my husband, "don't all bikes need wheel weights? How does one go without them for so many years?!"

The answers are, YES, yes you do need weights and, NO, no you don't go fourteen years without them. However, that's not to say that one is too stupid to notice. Or that one doesn't have a complete cuckoo for a partner who tries to dive into things she will absolutely never be able to comprehend.

The way the rim is, you need to have the sticky weights placed where they were placed. The wide spokes make it necessary. Otherwise you can have clip ons but the go to standard, as far as I recall, are sticky weights. They don't look as "pretty" but that's a motorcycle shop buying in bulk. Like valve stems, yo.

SO my husband and I were out trap shooting, catching up with old friends, drinking beer and living it up that night. One of our rare moments sans kiddo and this dude from way back is texting me, faceblob messaging me and ranting in his posts over the fact that the shop ruined his rim and he's never going back there.

Settle down, buddy. HOLY CRAP.

"Who balanced the wheel?" I ask my husband.

"I did!" he replies. "That guy doesn't know what he's talking about. I won't be in the shop tomorrow but tell him he can drop by on Monday and I'll explain it all to him and we can rebalance it with clip ons."

We were attempting to dismiss the dude as quickly as possible and get on with our evening. I talked him off the ledge initially but that didn't sink in.

And, naturally, he and his crazy wife still decided to bombard the shop the next day to cause an obnoxious, toddler-esque scene in which the dude claimed to "know Laura and Shane."

WHO FUCKING CARES, dumbass! We don't work there anymore. How can that possibly matter? And in what world is it okay for you to berate people you don't even know?

He did not wait until the person who balanced his wheel was available for consult -- instead he decided to point fingers at people who were not at all privy to the conversation in the first place. And she publicly put down the company because she "knows that they ruined their wheel with weights as they have never, ever in the fourteen years had wheel weights marring their bike."

Well, you're still wrong and you're still stupid.

I get it that your bike is your baby and you cherish it more than you would your own ugly offspring but I cannot imagine how some adult people resolve to settle their issues by kicking, screaming and twitching rather than listening and learning or seeking out second opinions. All of his faceblob replies told him that the situation was normal, no one ruined his rim and yet he somehow believes his wife who knows less than nothing over the experienced replies of many.

I told him straight out. You are a toddler. Go to your room until you can control your temper and say that you are sorry.

Apparently he did not like that very much.

But I gotta call 'em like I see 'em.

Written at 6:28 a.m.