March 27, 2010
Dear Shit Faced -- I'll kiss ya!Just sayin'....
But seriously.
------------------------------------------
The Boy. This year is the first year since I've known him that his complete disregard for my birthday doesn't seem to matter. Perhaps I'm finally seeing him for who he is -- to me, at least. By no means am I about to bash him for he truly is a great person but that doesn't mean he's a great person to me. And while I hope I never lose his presence from my life, I know now that I can't hope for anything more than simply that. An occasional call, a casual get together, a few races here and there, an infrequent query into my world, the intermittent favor. That's okay.
I know how hard he's trying to not care. I just sometimes wish he would admit it to himself how much I do.
He came over the other night to collect the matching shirts I purchased for himself and MO. My weekend plans casually slipped from my lips with the mention of my birthday. "Oh yeah," he said. I wasn't expecting him to then whisk me away to a movie, complete with movie theater popcorn (which is like crack to me). He never said Happy Birthday. That's okay.
------------------------------------------
I'm going to head out soon to my second home where the Heineken Light flows freely and I can pretend I'm not really a smoker with the hookah hose I hold in my hand. I sent out a few invites just to let people know where I would be in case they've nothing better to do but I'm not expecting a turnout. I'm not expecting much at all. And, for once, that's okay.
I'm just here to go with the flow.
But if I had to make a birthday wish, I suppose there are a couple of things I would like. I'd like to garner a few smiles. I'd like the Psycho Dude to keep his distance so I don't have to tell him off (you seriously need to take a hint, Buddy, 'cause you're not gonna like it when I turn blunt).
I'd like to enjoy these last few hours of freedom until I go back to work at the shop next week -- highly unlikely I'll be able to mosey on over to the bar in the middle of the afternoon for some time. And while I'm on topic with the shop, I'd like it not to suck quite as badly as it sucked last year. So if you're reading this, Dale, I love you but you need to grow a pair. Seriously, it's a motorcycle shop, not a daytime drama set. Please try harder to keep in character.
I'd like for my 30's to continue as brilliantly as they've been. I feel better about just being me than I ever have before and I hope that that translates over to the good people I know or at least draws some good people in. I'd like to figure out who it is that I want to be when I don't grow up and I'd like to find a good job. But if I don't right away, that's okay. I'll figure it out eventually.
What I'd really like for March 28th, my 31st birthday, is another Jordan Suzuki win. 'Cause wouldn't that be kick ass?
Maybe that's more for you than it is for me but I can pretty much guarantee that whatever makes you smile, makes me smile.
I hope that's okay...