Bent Words

Bent Words

June 17, 2020

I complain too much.

Work Schmerk gets to me so easily. My head aches long before the day is done. My kids get to me pretty much right away in the morning despite my eagerness to meet them each day with optimism. Dishes aren’t done, lawn isn’t mowed, dinner isn’t decided and I have four baskets of laundry that haven’t been put away in over a week. There are so many things for which I haven’t the time.

But I need to suck it the FUCK up pretty quick here because mostly everyone is complaining these days and I can’t be adding onto that giant pile of lamenting voices.

I now know Bath & Body Work’s official position when it comes to racism. I also know Target and Sentry and McDonald’s and Hanes’s opinion. I know Quad’s position too.


Thanks for imparting your stance on a matter which clearly has no bearing on my decision to buy or use your product. I get it. One domino falls and all of the rest of ya feel like you have to chime in but YOU DO NOT have to chime in. Do not be a part of the clatter; be a part of the things that matter because I could give a fuck all what your stance is on racism. Your “official company statement” is not representative of every member just like not all black people steal cars and not all cops kill and not all Mexicans live 10 to a house. Not all white folks are privileged and not all priests touch children and not all Indians work at a casino. Not everyone is full of hate and not everyone is out to get you. Do the best with what you have and make it HOT rather than loot and pillage in response.

Humans have to compartmentalize. It’s literally what makes us sane and used to be what kept us alive. Point at a cluster of berries and KNOW that they will kill you if you eat them. A bunch of guys wearing hoodies with their heads down are PROBABLY going to take your wallet. A guy with a Harley jacket is going to come into the Honda dealership with a chip on his shoulder unless he knows better. Not all berries are poisonous. Not all hoodies steal. But it’s likely that all Harley owners will bust your balls if you show them a Gold Wing.

“What’s so special about this thing?”

OH let me count the ways!

But still, don’t blame someone else for what you have done or others have done and STOP acting like you deserve more than what you are given. Do not blame everyone for one person’s folly.

Nope. You don’t deserve anything – you work for it. THEY are not the problem and you can’t always change THEM. You can change you and you can live by example. You can peacefully protest if you’re pissed and you can make a difference if change is needed. Just don’t do it out of hate. For yourself, for others. Hate doesn’t win. Hate is pretty sad and lonely. Hate is dark and hate is usually the end of something that was once bright and beautiful.

I was paid less than my male counterparts at every dealership and at every dealership’s change of hands. I’m sure I walked into every scenario knowing less than everyone else. Sales, Parts, Finance, Service and Accounting. I tried them all and I know I was paid less because while I was bouncing between Sales and Finance, Parts and Service, all in a given day, I was also a part of fucking Accounting so I know what everyone was paid! I made less. I knew less. That’s a fact. But I think I worked harder than most despite that because representation is important to me.

I knew I could do it.

And I know I can do it still. It’s just that magazines are way less cool than motorcycles. And I had a lot less balls in the fucking air back then. (hello cat #1 and cat #2)

I still have a job. I still have the drive. I still own my shit. And that’s why I complain a lot. Because I have high standards and when I can’t meet them, I am disappointed. I guess I just have to cut myself some slack sometimes. I can do this. I GOT this. I will FIGURE it the FUCK out.

And my official stance on racism is none of your damn business.

Written at 6:16 p.m.