June 12, 2004
You would not believe it - you would not believe how the boy heard my words, felt my words. I looked into his eyes and caught the sight of his heart drifting directly into my feelings and verifying their reality. He did not counteract them, deny them with another version of what I must feel, reduce them to lessen my thoughts, attempt to distract them or find them in acquaintace with some sort of severe fault all my own. For once I spoke without provoking a dramatic eye roll, astounding anger or a listless stare. The ever aching questions in my mind seemed resolved, the shame in their longevity did not seem so very harsh - the pain shared brought ease to my desire of happiness. I did not struggle in its shadow, desperate to find the light - the light found me!Feelings so dark and diving deaper down inside than even I myself could stir, began to ripple with the innocent touch of compassion and empathy. Like the most gentle hand pressed upon my cheek, I felt the warmth of comfort. And now my mind, over and over, realizes the precious gift of a single moment, a mere hour, a geniune smile. Nothing modified or held back, no information restrained to quit the stress I always seem to add to a troubled life. No guilt that I have created, no explanations to jusitfy my actions, no fear in being left behind. For once, time was mine. The seconds passed by and I did not count their beat, hoping beyond hope that I could only breathe ten more.
Expression allowed me to feel attractive, being heard made me feel significant, truth made me feel a genuine sense of pride - the look in his eyes pointed further across a darkened sky than my mind would allow to previously imagine. All the moments that I may BE, may I never take them for granted. The smile that a stranger did not have to smile, the kind words that an acquaintance did not have utter, the grandness one can procure all alone within themselves. Rising to a day with magnificant alacrity and finding just one small reason to hold enthusiasm tight within your grasp. I will be me again...
Don't be reluctant to give of yourself generously, it's the mark of caring
and compassion and personal greatness.
-- Brian Tracy
