Bent Words

Bent Words

July 24, 2021

In the words of a pretty smart 7-year-old, “There’s too much change going on here!”

She’s one of the neighborhood girls. She rides her bike everywhere – straight up to our front door -- and doesn’t seem to own a pair of shoes. She has a pool in her back yard so her blond hair is always a little stringy and wet. She has big, wide eyes and a slight lisp which makes me smile. She’s loud, like my kids, so they get along pretty well. She attends a parochial school normally but now it’s GO TIME for all the neighborhood kiddos from Summer Friday morning until Summer Sunday night. You can’t back out of the driveway without first looking for a bicycle, scooter or wagon and I feel like the only items I need to restock regularly are the popsicles and pancakes. They live on popsicles during the day and they gather around our soon-to-be-sticky kitchen table on Sundays for pancakes with sprinkles.

And Home of the Smallest Pancakes in the World (courtesy of my father 35 years ago and a couple negligent drops of pancake batter).

Little A has not seen Mister since before he started walking. She couldn’t believe her eyes watching him toddle from one spot in the living room to another.

“He’s not very good at it,” she said.

“Yeah, he’s usually drunk by 4pm so you just caught him at a bad time,” I replied.

Little A whipped her head around to look at me with wide eyes. “WHAT?!” she cried.

Well maybe she’s not altogether that smart but she sure is darn cute.

My Big Kid called Little A to check out her new solo room.

“Come look at my new room!!”

I moved The Big Kid out of her little sister’s room and because I can’t leave things half finished, I made sure the entire room was transferred over in as complete a fashion as possible. She has a new full-size bed (from K-Dog’s Grandfather’s house), dresser, her own closet and toy box. It was a surprise to her as we completed the task while she was away for the day. I cleaned out four dressers and two closets to shift things around and, when she walked into her new room, she went absolutely nuts. It’s been well over a week and not a single item is out of place from where I put it. She has kept her room clean as a whistle, making her bed each morning, putting her clothes away each night and even using a damn coaster for her drinks.

“Wow! Your new room is great!”

“Yeah, it’ll do until we move to Florida.”

We’re not moving to Florida. The Big Kid thinks we need to because Sammy Sosa moved there. But she didn’t just MOVE there, she also decided to move to a different department within the company. I found out via SnapFUCKINGchat.

“Cheers to me and my new position!”

New position?! You best mean new couch position in your living room or yoga downward dumbass position or we put up a swing in our bedroom position because we’re not talking about a new WORK SCHMERK position. But we are. Well, we’re not talking about it really because I’m just staring at a picture of it announced over social media with a giant beer and smiley face which deletes itself within thirty second so PERHAPS I just SAW things wrong but I’m guessing I saw it correctly because here I am, watching the shit roll downhill while I stand bewildered at the bottom of the slide with the Meredith account all dark and despairing.

From the girl who didn’t want ME to leave to move to a different department when I had the chance (at least twice) several years ago...

And the whole world kind of sucked in a breath of disbelief after that. The calls came in, the managers asked how I was doing (all 7 of them I’ve had in 5 years) and “this is a great opportunity for you” and “now you can take the lead” and “we’ll work through it together.” But I don’t want that opportunity. I don’t need to move up the damn chain. I have enough going on and I don’t have any dreams of leading the way, building the path or directing the team. I am a FOLLOWER! I am not a leader! Point me in the right direction and tell me what to do. Maybe I can step up in a few years but, for now, I just want one manager to MANAGE, one department to SUPPORT me and a reason not to quit.

“I see big things for you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.”

“What’s the pay if you move departments?”

I’m not selling myself short. I’m admitting what I can and cannot do and I don’t care about what ya’ll think. It doesn’t matter what you think! You’re scared to lose me now that the house of cards has fallen but I’m not playing 52 card pick up. I have a little list, though, and we’ll see how that goes. It will probably take me about 3 months just to get through the fluffy job descriptions of one company that’s feverishly looking for new blood in one of the best job markets EVER but I’m okay with that. Ish. Seriously though, it’s not the Declaration of Independence – it’s a JOB – and you need someone to do it. Why do you have three pages worth of responsibilities?? Just explain it in a manner which blue colored workers can comprehend and we’ll be on our merry way to uniting ourselves in the greater good of a bloody workforce that wants people who will W O R K.

There is too much change going on here. And I just want to “Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.”

Name that quote.

Wrote I love you in lipstick on the mirror
We were shoutin' out the window, like they could hear us at the pier
Said "Do you think we'll live forever?" As we killed another beer
And you wrote I love you in lipstick on the mirror
We were laughin' until we were breathless
Never felt anything so reckless, we were all lit up and restless
And comin' alive and we were…

Written at 9:43 a.m.