June 18, 2021
It’s a little backwards.I work from home and the only framed picture on my desktop bar is that of my co-worker. Whether I return to the office, remain stationary or enjoy a little mixture of both, it’s the most I’ll have of her from here on out. Our last free beer, box suite, Brewer’s game grins going on. Didn’t think we’d even have that this year so I’ll take it. As it so happens, Hashbrown knows how to get at the vodka and, at one time, at my heart.
[LOUD] Recitations from your best bookstore porn, the questionable bathroom quarter machines, Curly’s Waterfront bar, Magellan’s, Camp Erin, Dead Fish Day, pedicures, bottles of wickedly strong rum in our desk for Frisky Fridays and holidays (made up or real). Love Boxes filled with booze, sticky notes, duck machine animals, dollar store toys and more shuttled out to favorite co-workers in times of need, for birthdays, holidays or just because. Trashing each other’s desks, organizing food days, outdoor activities, after work shenanigans…
In old Ghetto Guano fashion, ‘She gone!’
Going away party at Point on Main. I’ll print the pictures, fill the balloons and make the damn brownies she likes so much. I’ll invite all the people and make them sign the Brewers board, shaped like Wisconsin, in gold marker. The kids will make brownies decorated with glitter sunshine, palm trees, flamingos and pineapples. Not too much, not too little but more than the rest of them. I’ll invite all the work folks I can think of to make sure she has plenty of drinks, hugs, signatures and guilt to go around.
I’ll drink myself silly and I’ll make all the mockery like it isn’t my best friend all around skippin’ town. The beer is not free but the beratement is.
Black, white and gold balloons were S T E L L A R
Later Traitor
GTFO
Hope you FAIL [which was misprinted to say “hope you fall” but that’s funny too]
Bye Felicia!
We never liked you anyway
We were just starting to like you
Congrats on getting out of this hellhole
The brownies read FINE. GO. In white icing.
She picked me up at my place and we drove back to the Shaw. In the parking lot, I waited for her with her boyfriend Hashbrown.
“Actually the beer is free so I wish you wouldn’t have invited all those people without asking us. We don’t even like those people so I don’t want to give them free beer,” he said.
“Oh. Goodness. Well, sorry!! I was just trying to get as many people together as possible to wish you guys well, buy you free drinks and sign the gift I got you. I didn’t know you were paying the tab or I wouldn’t have done that,” I replied.
“It’s fine. It’s just not your thing to tell. It’s ours.”
“Yeah, I get it. Sorry. I’m going to miss you guys so I just wanted to send you off with a bang,” I said through hidden, watering eyes.
“Okay. Let’s be honest Laura. We don’t see you that much and you don’t come out here too often. I mean, we will miss you too but when we only get together a few times a year, that’s not much incentive to stay. It’s like we don’t really have friends here anyway. You guys really aren’t best friends.”
Well, for fuck’s sake…
It doesn’t hurt. It hardly even matters. But this is the reason I don’t need people in my life. #1 I almost always do the wrong thing somehow and #2 I have enough shazz going on all around me all the time. I don’t need more things.
Pretty sure my mother’s dying…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY
I’m right over here. Why can’t you see me?
I keep dancing on my own.