Bent Words

Bent Words

May 10, 2020

I went to the store.

I don’t LIKE going to the store but we needed things and I was working at the plant for a bit anyway so I dropped in to pick up soda for cocktails, spinach, 17 gallons of milk and Mother’s Day cards. I was happy to be out I guess so I rode the cart to the truck and loaded up to head home. While depositing the liters of soda onto my kitchen counter, Kevin says, “What’s that?”

“That is soda,” I replied slowly.

“Did you only get two 2-liters?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Well isn’t it a dollar if you buy 4?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Well don’t you read the signs?”

“Nope,” I replied.

I don’t read the signs. I don’t care if it’s on sale or not because I’m still going to buy whatever I want in whatever quantity I want. Yes, if I had read that there was a deal for four, I might have purchased four, but I did not so what do you want for me to do NOW? Should I go back and explain I really wanted four for whatever price I could have garnered them for? Should I go buy four more? Or six more?


YES. I should not.

We bought a new faucet for our kitchen sink and it leaked. So we returned it and bought a different faucet and it worked fine. For two days. [I built a castle and then it sank into the swamp so I built another castle… and IT sank into the swamp…] Then it trickled like a sad little stream making me spend 15 minutes filling the coffee pot in the morning. We ordered a new valve from the company but they are DICKS at Delta and would not expediate the piece. Over a week we waited for the new part. When we got it, we started to put it together but then I hear Kevin say, “No fucking way.”

“What?” I asked.

“It’s not threaded,” Kevin said.

I picked up the piece, started threading it and he yelled at me not to force it.

I picked up the directions, looked him in the eye and said, “Don’t you read the fucking directions?”

“’Threads are formed when screw is installed.’”

Sometimes it’s important to read before you proceed and sometimes who gives a fuck.

Also I hate my family today.

It’s Mother’s Day so I need to knock that the fuck off but Big Kid is being cruel, Middle Kid is crying for new tights and Mister is just hungry or sick or teething but inconsolable. I made a big breakfast, put away shitloads of laundry, cleaned and organized the baby’s room, cut Kevin’s hair and we had an important discussion which kind of confused me but we needed to have and I don’t know where to GO from here so I’m now done.


I want to go to work. Or to the fucking store. I want to ride around and sing really loud and cry even louder. I want zero cartoons, negative 3 decibels on the whining scale and a giant cocktail full of not too much alcohol because I have to work tomorrow. I want to bring my blood pressure back down and I want to not do anymore laundry.

I just want to do something different somewhere else and I know that makes me a pretty shitty mom but I just want an hour or three of uninterrupted peace.

Written at 7:39 p.m.