Bent Words

Bent Words

August 09, 2010

So patiently...

The night was young and yet the place was full. Art Crawl. I bumped shoulders with strangers on my way in.

I waited for you.

At the bar.

I wanted to tell you about my day. The spiffs I won. The GM offered $100 to anyone who sold $1000 worth of in-store merchandise. Where there's a contest, there's me to win it. Got $2000 by 2pm. So the GM gives me my hundo and offers me another if I can sell $500 more by closing time. I sold a $459 Arai helmet and a $137 Scorpion dirt lid. I handed the kid who helped me juggle the two sales a twenty. I planned to blow it all on that one evening. 'Cause I had a feeling you would show. So I waited. Patiently.

I blew off the drunkard.

"I'm gonna fuck someone up tonight," he whispered into my ear.

He staggered away and then staggered back again.

"I'm seriously gonna fuck someone up. Say, where's the can?"

I pointed.

Twenty minutes later, the dude was laid out on the sidewalk in front of the bar. We didn't bother to wake him. We just called the police. For fifteen minutes the red and blue lights flickered across the faces of people I knew, people I didn't. I imagined you arriving at that point. Crossing the street with your hands in your pockets, dodging the cop caddy, smiling concern spread about your face the moment your eyes caught mine.

"Don't mess with me or you'll end up like this guy," I'd quip.

Patiently I waited to make my joke.

But the moment passed.

Jim brought me back to reality. Made me laugh with his misfortune.

"So a friend of mine set me up on a blind date. Right. Had to be blind not to notice the baby bump. 22-years-old. Lasted about two weeks and then she sends me a break up email. 'Too much going on' in her life right now, she tells me. Ya think?"

I laughed so hard I cried.

Still, I didn't feel quite right that night. No one did. Even Jim with his self-deprecating story. He was sad, too. Although she was a little too young and a little too pregnant for him, she was nice. And he's been waiting. Patiently as ever.

Just like me.

But I get it. You had to go. It couldn't last. Pretending to be people we weren't.

And yet I waited. For one more good time. One more crazy, exhilarating kiss. One more evening where we could spill over into each other and scream "to hell with tomorrow!" into the night.

And, what? No good-bye?

Well I'm still waiting.


You slipped away from me.
It's not alright,
You couldn't put up no fight.
But patiently,
The well ran dry.
You needed more water,
You needed more...
But patiently,
You slipped away from me.
Oh, God I want you back.
Oh, God I miss you my friend,
Oh so patiently...

I went home that night
And I sat down to write.
But I couldn't think of anything to write that night.
Patiently, you took it all with you.
The sun, the moon, the stars
Are nothing without you.
But patiently,
You slipped away
Oh, God we want you back.
Oh, God we miss you our friend,
Oh so patiently.

You fell into silence,
I hate all this silence.
It leaves me impatient.
And this impatience has breeded such violence.
Oh I hate all this violence.
Oh, God we miss you our friend,
We wait so patiently...

Written at 6:35 p.m.