Bent Words

Bent Words

July 01, 2008

Youíre werenít always right and you werenít always noble but I know how you had the idea of it always stashed away in your heart. You strove to be exactly that with everything you did and everyone you encountered and you strive to be that with everything and everyone you accomplish and meet now. And as much as I hate that itís not something I can view firsthand, itís certainly something, isnít it, to actually feel the radiance of your intentions in my bones. Far away and yet close enough to touch that first rate finish.

Youíre moving on and cruisiní along (struggling and dealing and healing and fighting, really, but thatís what I meant) and Iím most genuinely so freakiní happy for you (as much as I hate and altogether love to admit it, youíre doing it right this time).

Keep shining, my bright star, for this it. You have won all the stupid and triumphant and crazy and ceaseless battles life has thrown at you and you will continue to do so because itís always been in you. Each step youíve taken has been a rigorous climb and I applaud that.

What I wanted for you Ė I wanted you to get it and I wanted you to be happy and I can only hope that you did not regret our time together in finding a piece of that simple joy. I can only hope I contributed something to it, to you, to a part of that picture. I can only hope that youíll look back on occasion and know that I only meant for the best and though I may have not been very successful in showing you, you saw it just the same. I hope you see it because I knew then and know now that you deserve it. Every glorious bit of it.

Youíre good.

I know you had to let go of some things to concentrate on you (good show, by the way, focusing on yourself for a change) but donít feel guilty about that. I tell them, the ones who inquire, about that; about you. I tell them though it probably isnít necessary. I like to, though, because it makes me feel like Iím still a part of the grand scheme that is your existence. I tell them because it is so amazing Ė youíre here and youíre okay and youíre thriving and youíre still running around in the world that we consider better because youíre doing these things, because youíre still in it.

Brilliant as the sky reflected in your eyes.

It was meant to be and I knew it somehowÖ
If I have ever hoped for anything, I am hoping now that you see what it is I see. I am hoping that you realize your importance in this world - that everyone realizes their importance in this world. For, no matter who you may be responsible for or who is responsible for you, you are the greatest entity that will every belong in your life. Be that person with all the eloquence you can contain, be that person - no matter how scared you might be - with every ounce you can commit to. Let happiness be yours, let happiness extend to one person you meet during the day. Allow your own sun to shine on a day with the heaviest, gray clouds in the sky - make a promise that each day you are here is the best day of your life. And don't forget to let others know that they are precious, too - with the smile they didn't have to smile, with the kind words they didn't have to say, with the helping hand they didn't have to lend. Be it, taste, grasp it, smell it, seek it, love it - it's your life! And you don't know how long you have a right to it. It's never too late to let go of your prejudices, to be the person who you've always wanted to be, to tell that one person how you've always felt, to roll around in the green grass or the brilliant white snow with a grin on your face - all alone or with the world. And if you think I've just found this in a horrific tragedy, with mourning and terror - you've never really known me - and you've never known how much I truly care. I love you - with all my heart - with all the seconds that beat in my heart each day.

Written at 10:38 p.m.