January 29, 2008
My impression of she who cannot sleep�HowamIdoin�?
I didn�t go out tonight because I didn�t sleep well last night (that and I�m broke and I have studying that I was going to do but didn�t and taxes that I had to finish but couldn�t and Nature decided to get down and nasty with all this winter shit) so now, here I am, still not sleeping, studying, playing or� taxes doing.
Good to know, though, that I�m cognitively functional sans sleep, right?
Right-O.
Perhaps the problem rests (heh) in the fact that I lied � my conscious is torturing me for not having chosen the �high road.� My sleep is burdened by the idea that, although telling truth seemed novel prior to the lying, I didn�t schlep (hey! That�s a word!) down that golden path of verisimilitude.
Nope. I lied.
I lied and told the world that I received a B for my Research Methods class last semester when, in truth, I received my very first C while pursuing my degree in whatever degree it is exactly that I�m currently �pursuing.� And, in all actuality, I began earnestly enough � while consuming vast quantities of �I thought you liked this� beer, I admitted to my parental units (in a rare viewing of the I Pity Myself show) that I had, indeed, disgraced their doorstep with a C to which my mother replied, �have another cookie and get over it.� But then I gently digressed knowing that the rest of the world could not as easily wipe away my malfeasance with magical chocolate chip cookie goodness � although that would be way cool.
Still, I have to believe that the lying was not entirely my fault (rather, more of a necessity). If the rest of my classmates could have owned up to their own less-than-opulent (i.e. real) grades, perhaps I would not have had to further blacken society with more falsehoods myself.
I know, damn well, that Chipmunk Girl, when I asked her during the first week of this new semester, did not do better than me. There�s just no way. She wasn�t even in class because she got cancer, had a baby, had her kidney removed and then had family member die all in two month�s time during lecture (or something catastrophically similar). I was so surprised that I even recognized her usually-absent face during the final exam that I accidentally blurted out �Hey! She�s alive!� (to a cancer/minus kidney survivor) when she walked in the room.
Slight faux pas on my part.
Even Krystal says she got a B. The girl who wore a top hat and pink tights (no, not nylons, tights � I don�t think they even make pink nylons) to class last week got a B in Research Methods. Just seems� odd. I mean, the grade part, not the attire; although that might be a questionable part of her personality which would be interestingly pursued by methods of research as well.
I don�t believe them. They smile too cutely to be believed. They toss it off their heads �Oh, I got an A, what did you get? Tee hee!� too easily, as though they were flipping their hair behind their shoulders, as though it were the simplest thing they�ve ever done, ever.
So� now you know and now you see; it�s not my fault that I lie. It�s this corrupt world with which I must compete � this deceit which begets more deceit. This vicious cycle was brought upon ME and now I must suffer the consequence of dark circles and puffy eyes in the morning.
It�s Gerbal Girl�s fault that I cannot sleep � she put me here. Her and her top hat, pink tight wearing freak of a friend.
Stupid C.