April 03, 2007
In an attempt to lighten these past few pages� (which a little useless information)Had a moment at the street corner on campus today. After class, and after trying to change my body positioning during class in a fruitless attempt to stave off my tummy growls, I walked my usual route to the street corner and stood aloof while two or three other people consciously crossed the street. I had to wait through yet another �Don�t F�ing Cross Yet, Stupid� light. I was surrounded by students.
As I shifted my backpack on my left shoulder, I heard a noise from behind me which sounded very much like a bad case of gas (I refrain from using the �f� word). But my eyes widened when I realized it was actually coming from me(!).
Only it wasn�t me. It was my backpack. More precisely, it was the hard plastic lining inside of backpack which, when the bag is shifted, makes an awful PHRRRRFFFFT (!) sound. I tested this out several times on the way back to my car by swinging my bag back and forth on my shoulder only to realize that I was making this less-then-confidence-inspiring noise in the wake of many, many (many) others.
Once again I was foiled by that whole �thinking� gig.
When I returned to my apartment, I noticed that I had (earlier) shifted a few items in my bag which only encouraged the f*rting noise. I had two books cramping the hard, plastic liner of my bag.
�Is that what the body is like when it comes to real gas?� I wondered.
It always seems to be something. Be it toothpaste on my shirt, poppy seeds in my teeth, tummy growls during the only five seconds the class is silent or fake gas, I�m always making a fool of myself.
Let�s just hope I�m the only one who notices.