February 08, 2005
So I was reading the infamous Plopphizzizzee's diary and came across this intriguing post (or else I would surely have taken full credit for what follows). Naturally, I became curious about the wonders of phobias and thus began to scroll through the lengthy list of common, and not so common, fears that have been recorded. In an attempt to keep the list down to the most interesting set of phobias, I shall share a few of my favorites with you now... Eh Hem...Cathisophobia - Fear of sitting.
These people obviously live in New York. Their only means of transportation is the subway and since it is perfectly acceptable (and often freakin' mandatory) that they stand while getting a ride to, well, wherever they're going that will not require sedentary positions (i.e. classrooms, weddings, church, dentist offices, etc.).
Coitophobia- Fear of coitus.
WTF??! These poor, poor debilitated human beings!
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
These guys have apparently been to Amsterdam and were offered entirely too much legal weed, alcohol and porn. Where crime rates are lower than, like, anywhere else in the world and you get to take a quick weekend jaunt down to Paris whenever the notion grabs you... I'd be scared, too (!?!?).
Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.
I cannot fully deprecate these folks as I also have some trepidation with church...
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Not that I blame these people (one BIT), but how do you escape it?! And, is it okay to have this fear if you do not have children? Is it an excuse to avoid paying for your children's college education? One has to wonder...
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Holy suck-ola!
"Here's some duct tape, Timmy. You cover that chin nice and good now."
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
See, now, they don't really specify if this is a fear of the uncovered knee or if someone starts hyperventalating at the very 'idea' of a knee behind jeans. And I wonder if this expands to knee pads... How do they get their reflexes checked out? Do they fear their own knees and how do you avoid looking at them? I think this anxiety must be directly corralated with the fear of sitting since that would incur the most likely position to view one's own knees if they, indeed, fear their own.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms (damn! I thought this only happened to cats and dogs!)
Nevertheless, I suppose I wouldn't exactly favor the idea of being infested with worms myself. Although, I must admit, I've never tried it. Now, what shall I have for dinner...
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
Do you really need commentary?
Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility.
Oh, man. I'm a hypengyophobiac. I claim the right to this ailment for the duration of my unemployment, thank you.
Iophobia- Fear of poison.
I don't get it...
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.
Go ahead. I'll wait till you're done rolling around on the floor laughing...
So is this solved by simply bending at the knees or--
Sorry, here I go again - laughing at the fear of knees.
Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.
I actually had a friend...
Once.
KK, lets try this again. I knew a guy who couldn't STAND to have me on his right side. It was weird. As though he felt safer with me on his left. Like I would surely jab a machette into his back if I were on his right, but no worries if I were on the left... Oh wait. Maybe he was just blind in his right eye. I forget now. It was still weird.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.
Oohhhhhh, noooooooo. Not a fear of bears or tigers or giant aardvarks, but otters.
Here is the malicious animal in question:
I wonder what the fear for bunnies would be?
Methyphobia- Fear of alcohol
EEEEEEEEK!.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Could this be a progressive phobia?? Like 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 -- OHMYGOD-- 8
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Plutophobia- Fear of wealth.
Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah. Suuuuuure.
Spacephobia- Fear of outer space.
And you thought those aliens were so cute and cuddly...
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.
Walloon?! What the hell is a Walloon? Is that like a walrus mixed with a loon? Even I'd be afraid of that... Was this uttered from the kid on the short bus who lost his balloon? Well, they have CARToons, why not WALLoons? Okay - I think ya'll smell what I'm cooking.
Polyphobia- Fear of many things.
For the general diagnosis from the disgruntled psychiatrist...
Thanks for playing!
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