December 30, 2004
We stood in a triangle, facing each other and chattering away about the recent sale of Lake Country Powersports, Riding Schools and Michael Jordan's Race Team. Merle had taken the title from me and I had taken the money for the bike from him. I had to run back to my apartment to get the correct key (since I think I gave him the one to my already sold VFR), but otherwise, everything went by without a hitch.It was great to be so entirely surrounded by motorcycles once again and I wandered about the crated machines in absolute awe. The new black and silver colored Honda RVT1000 (better known as the RC51) sat in a corner, nearly begging me to steal it. I quickly turned away, after a moment's worth of drooling on my jacket, and wound my way back through the bikes and ATV's to where the pair of men were standing.
As they spoke, I lit cigarette after cigarette, carefully watching that gorgeous man as he spoke. His hair had, indeed, been recently cut and the dark circles that I thought would occupy a tired face were not as bad as I had expected. His shoes were not new, nor were his jeans, and I rather relished over the fact that they weren't. It was him alright - dipped in work and still entirely dashing.
I was suddenly interrupted from the current conversation as the song Only Get So Far by The Brides of Destruction came blaring through my heart from his stereo. I remembered the day that he played the CD that this song was from. I had listened to the entire while we slammed back a few beers. At one point, I heard this very same song and walked over to the CD to look at the lyrics. I took out the pen I always had in my back pocket and circled these words:
I remember our first goodbye
And the kiss in the doorway as you cried
To let you go it breaks my heart
You walked away
Cause you'll only get so far
You'll only get so far
Cause you'll only get so far without love
If you're lonely today
Well you're not far away
Cause you'll only get so far
I remember out next goodbye
And you cried and promised me your life
Loss of faith in those starry eyes
You walked away
Cause you'll only get so far
You'll only get so far
Cause you'll only get so far without love
If you're lonely today
Well you're not far away
Cause you'll only get so far
I'm tryin' to remember
Why I ever left at all
Need you to remind me
Cause you know where I belong
When these miles are too long
I can't wait to come home
I need you in my arms
Cause you'll only get so far
When these miles are too long
I can't wait to come home
I need you in my arms
Cause you'll only get so far
Cause you'll only get so far without love
If you're lonely today
Well you're not far away
Cause you'll only get so far
Cause you'll only get so far
You'll only get so far
Cause you'll only get so far without love
If you're lonely today
Well you're not far away
Cause you'll only get so far
Without love
I thought I would be alright, until I heard these words and, then, I was taken away. His eyes met my own, once or twice, when I wasn't staring at his lips or his chin or his earring or his hands. And finally, after Merle left, we had a chance to talk amongst ourselves.
He told me about his Leukemia and I wished there was just something I could do. I thought to myself of how I wanted to ask him all of the time how he was doing. I thought about the new house he had purchased and the puppy he told me about. I thought about the kids and wondered how they were doing but forgot to ask. I thought about his mother and neglected to inquire after her as well. I rambled on about my trip to Paris and my next trip to New York. I told him about my grades at Carroll and about my nieces, about the new bike I wanted to get and the noise that still scares me whenever I start up my car.
We stood there and we spoke; nervously, for about an hour. I told him he looked good and that it was great to talk to him again.
"I had better be off, then, and I suppose you have to get back work."
He nodded.
"Well, take care and if ever you need to talk, just know that I'm here. Okay?"
"Okay."
"I probably shouldn't hug you..."
"Yeah, I'm not really sure about that."
"So here's a good slug in the arm, instead."
I slugged him, not hard, and walked away. I exited the building with a great sigh, walked into the drizzling rain and ran right into the back of Adam, an ex employee of Lake Country and a mutual friend. We hugged and chatted for a little while before I hopped into my car sitting on the side of the road. I looked up at the Warehouse garage door and...
There he was.
His face barely showing through the small, dirty square of a window. I watched until he disappeared, most likely greeted by Adam at that very moment. I know not if he was simply looking out the window from habit, as I've seen him do a million times before, or if he was looking out after me. I suppose that I shall never know, but I'll always think back on it and hope for the latter. I'll always look back and I'll always remember him, that Gorgeous man who still holds the depths of my heart.
I turned the key in my ignition and heard these words as I drove away:
Woke up to soothing sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you