Bent Words

Bent Words

October 26, 2004

Damn these muddled pieces of life striking at me like pointed shards of glass. In every direction they haunt, this marred map of indecision...

I feel like such a fool here - where strength and weakness meet as though it were a final stare down as to which might come out on top. My rejection for everything coupled with an overdose of confusion leaves me stupified in this stoic stance against time and motivation. I just cannot understand it. I've no idea which way to go or if I'm simply making mistake after followed through mistake.

I want to be proud, I want to be courageous and I want to be bold. I want to raise my hand with answers righteous and thought superior. I want my actions to proclaim my worthiness and my words to follow their full potentional. I want a respectful spot in the world where ends sometimes meet instead of ever fraying within my feebled hands. I want to succeed in the things that I do, abhor the trite and undecided. I want the title and I want the self satisfying reward of its full force realization.

Yet I still feel the cascading boulders thrown in my face; tumbling from heights unimagined, scraping my will and devastating my ardor.

Time to give the Dean a call...

Written at 11:12 a.m.