June 04, 2020
Burnt.thefuckout.
I have a stack of folders sitting in front of me waiting to have reports pulled which were due yesterday. I got through none of them last night. I see emails streaming in asking for them and I think I’d rather shove my mechanical pencil deep into my abdomen to shirk the responsibility.
Hospital would mean someone else has to do it, right?!
At 2am, I woke up from a dream where I was driving with my mom in a car across a really tall bridge over the water. I hate bridges over the water. The 7-mile bridge over the ocean connecting The Keys in Florida was about the most terrified I’ve ever been on a bridge. The little shacks passing for bars that far south rarely carry alcohol for cocktails so I slammed three beers and two whiskey and Cokes from my road soda collection just to get up the nerve to do it. Which was super smart considering the VERY slow drive with ZERO bathroom facilities. There’s this OTHER bridge right next to the one you’re driving on which is defunct probably because some huge car accident happened where cars drove into the ocean and plunged innocent people into shark infested waters (or so that’s where my mind takes me when I see a bridge over water).
All the symbolism for my dream is pretty gnarly.
Dream About Ill-Maintained or Broken Bridge
To dream of a run-down bridge indicates that your going through dangerous yet major changes in your life at this time. Your subconscious is telling you that it might not be a safe path to go. If you want to follow through with your plans, you may have to take a significant amount of risk.
Dream About Bridge Extending Out Into Water
Generally, if the bridge is flooded over or extending into a water or river, it suggests that the transition or upcoming journey will be an emotional one. If the water under the bridge is rising onto and flooding the road surface, it suggests that you are letting your emotions holding your back and preventing you from moving forward.
Dream About Big & Tall Bridge
Dreams of a big & tall bridge reflects a major obstacle is in front of you. Expect long and hard travels before you can reach your goals. At times the situation will seem daunting and impossible. The dream is telling you to be steadfast on your path and never give up, you will eventually reach your destination. However, if the bridge is so large or high out of your view, it relates to unattainable goals.
So there’s that.
For the past hour, my laptop has been “Connecting to Server” but not making a successful connection (oh yes, the parallel to my bridge dream is not lost upon me). At this point, I don’t even want to be connected. I don’t want to do work. I have so much shazz going on and yet no way to complete it from the confines of my current prison which resembles a basement. I’m trying to make a list so I don’t forget what it is that needs getting done but I’m just shutting down on the regular when the clock hits 3 or 4pm.
I’m just over it right now.
Not the bridge. Just work.
For now.